The commissioner of this portrait of Mistress Eleise de Lacy introduces the work…
“Sardax’s recent post about Femdom nostalgia brought me round to thinking about the Femdom journey I took to my current position as collared slave to Mistress Eleise de Lacy.
Before I go back in time, let me briefly explain where I am now. I am owned by Mistress Eleise under the terms of a Contract of Servitude which I voluntarily signed in late 2013. Under this contract of Servitude I am her slave and she has absolute control of my sexual activities and direction.
In commissioning artwork from Sardax, I wanted the artwork to represent or display as many facets of our strengthening relationship as I could. Not that my decision was the final one of course – Mistress Eleise played an integral part in the planning and design of the commissions.
If that is where I am now, what path did I take to get there?
My BDSM orientation commenced with clandestine purchases of poorly produced Femdom magazines in Soho and masturbatory sessions based on dreams of Emma Peel in the Avengers. The initial realisation that there were others like you, who were also non-vanilla and dreamed of being hurt by leather-clad ladies, was revelatory and helped appease the confusion felt at my “strange desires”.
Initially the furthest these desires ever took me was to following booted ladies along rain-drenched streets and dreaming of kneeling before them.
Ultimately the desire to experience something more real grew; courage was built up; and searches through the overly-expensive poor-quality contact magazines (what a joy it was to find Dominatrix Directory International) led to the nervousness of the first phone call to a Dominatrix. I can still sense the dry mouth and my heart pounding as she answered the phone. Many of the visitations which followed were journeys into the unknown, lacking as we were in the detailed information on the scene which is now so easily accessible on the internet. Nevertheless, my journey had commenced.
The scene pre-Internet was transient, with fewer ladies dedicated fully to the lifestyle profession and those that were committed a lot harder to find and access. As a result I experienced many ups and downs – the joys and despair of sessions either hugely rewarding or hugely disappointing.
Encounters with many Mistresses in those days were more commercial – largely centred around a short-duration male sexual urge and fulfilment facilitated by a female for financial gain – with limited opportunity to develop a chemistry beyond the physical interaction into true worship and devotion, contractual slavery and absolute relinquishment of control, in the manner which I have now been able to develop with my owner Mistress Eleise.
The internet allowed communication and dialogue to take place before and after encounters, for philosophies to be explored, and for chemistries to be better defined – thus intensifying the experience for all parties. Yes, there are Mistresses who are still driven solely by the commercial aspect of the relationship but there are also fabulous Women in the scene today who view Female Supremacy as the founding stone for what we do and who genuinely believe in their right to control, subjugate and use inferior males. Deeper and more meaningful relationships are now more easily structured.
I have such a relationship with Mistress Eleise. She owns me. She decides how I worship her, how I suffer for her, and what freedoms or constraints I live under. Our relationship is about her pleasure and is not about me to any extent. I do need to state that I am treated with the utmost care and respect by her, but that is within the confines and parameters of an intense sadomasochistic relationship, with her as orchestrator.
As a natural progression from the current status of our relationship, our intent is to evidence in the most appropriate way her ownership of me. At an appropriate time in the future, assuming I continue to earn my right be her devotee, I will be branded with her initial. In preparation for this event, I commissioned this artwork by Sardax to illustrate how our ceremonial event might appear.
Key facets of our (but particularly her) intent are illustrated expertly by Sardax. It is Mistress Elise’s intention to invite some of her esteemed colleagues to witness the event and they can be seen in the artwork. It is my hope that, with the letter “E” burnt onto my buttocks, I am led by Mistress Eleise on a leash around to each of these Ladies so that I can worship them in whatever manner each of them so desires. I am in bondage and gagged, released only when Mistress Eleise has finished her torture or body modifications.
And so, where do I go from there on this intrepid journey of pain, abuse, humiliation and degradation? Well of course I can’t begin to imagine because the choice is not mine, it’s Mistress Eleise’s.”