In a previous artwork we saw Lady Ibicella as French schoolmistress.
But every teacher needs some time off and so here she has gone hiking (in French -randonnée) in a beautiful exotic resort by the sea with her personal slave.
He is useful for a lot of duties- setting up the tent, cooking, cleaning her boots, but most of all, to receive her passively as she winds down with a very long relaxing shafting at the end of the day, while watching the sun sink below the horizon…
Iʼd better preface this post by saying that I am not well qualified to write it as my own few attempts were so awful I simply gave up and despaired. I never dreamt then that meeting mistresses would one day become part of my work.
So how in pre-Internet days did you go about meeting a mistress? and we mean here a professional mistress as the thought of meeting anyone who was happy to be dominant without charging for it was almost inconceivable. This is my own experience so if your experience differs from mine feel free to comment.
So night clubs existed of course and even fetish club nights. Personally I hated dark clubs and their kind of music but it seemed then that to gain entry into a certain lifestyle that was one of the few options. I never understood why I had to dress in a certain way and listen to the right music to find that sympathetic mistress. So I never took that avenue.
Failing that there appeared to be two main methods:
Cards in phone boxes
Meeting your mistress commando-style. Probably not recommended for a lasting ongoing relationship. Adrenalin required.
Find a telephone box and look for the illegally placed cards conveniently at eye level. Ring the number on the card next to the photo/drawing of the mistress. Speak to the “maid”, usually an elderly sex worker who would describe the lady in question -inaccurately of course. Bust size, height, hair colour. Within an hour or so you could be there waiting to be processed after another customer. Where? a dingy basement near to the phone box maybe. Cash only. Explain to the mistress just what you wanted and hope she’d understand. Usually disappointing – from others too so I hear.
The contact magazine
For those who preferred a more measured approach to meeting a mistress there was the contact magazine. This small A5 magazine, cheaply printed in black and white, was sold in Soho sex shops and if you were lucky – newsagents. With names like Superbitch or Real Mistress the purpose was to provide an introduction by means of personal ads. Unlike today where you are blasted by websites and social media heaving with video clips and all the photos you could ever desire, the magazine would allow you a grainy low-res photo of the mistress which let the imagination weave its own fantasy of how she might look. Seeing these tiny grey photos not just once, but over and over the imagination in the head would supply a glamour which reality would render disappointed. Sometimes it wasnʼt even the face, for people were cautious of revealing themselves even then. A glimpse of a boot, maybe. Equally evocative would be the copy. Very terse and to the point but with enough salaciousness to get you to write the first letter.
That would be sent to the publisher of the magazine in an envelope with the number of the advertiser written outside, not forgetting a stamp addressed envelope back to oneself. It would be then forwarded on to the said advertiser.
And wait for the reply, sometimes weeks. And sometimes no reply to your letter at all. But if a reply came -oh joy! (I heard from one of my contacts his reply letter was opened by a flatmate and considerable hilarity ensued in his college)
The reply would generally be business-like and a point of contact established, maybe even a time of meeting was arranged with a landline number – no mobiles remember.
Did you even dare pick up the phone to make a call?
Once an appointment was made it was definitely kept. After so much effort made in securing the meeting the only thing preventing an appointment from being kept would be death itself. Even a relative’s funeral or a countrywide blizzard would not have prevented the appointment from going ahead.
Trusting to luck
Any sort of verification in either of these was too cumbrous to be considered and people just trusted to their luck, client and mistress alike. Unbelievable the risks taken but the youthful urge propelled you through.
The risks of indiscretions were localised. A mad letter written feverishly at night with all kinds of confessions would merely be discarded in the bin by the other party, not indiscreetly splashed all over social media for anyone in the world to read for ever and ever.
Moreover you could not hope to meet someone who would cater to your exact fetish as easily as today so you hoped you found a mistress flexible enough to understand what you desired. Most were trained to take on all “comers”.
The great difference was that there was so very little information to go on whereas nowadays there is just too much info, with a race to the bottom to provide as much content as possible about the mistress, resulting in jadedness and half heartedness. But that was just how it was..nobody thought it an effort .
This memory of the past is not nostalgia for the good old days but rather the opposite. In a way they were the bad old days. In spite of all the current laws now hemming in free communication on the Net, people can and will communicate so much easier now and are more likely to meet the right people who respond to their own interests. However threatened one might feel these days the Internet has made communication possible in a way inconceivable in the days of my youth. Will those dark days ever return?
I personally donʼt think so.This may be the end of a golden age but not the start of a dark age.
Unless the whole internet disappears?
For this third portrait of She Controls I arranged to meet the lady herself at a London café and after making a direct sketch we had some discussion about the content.
We came up with this surreal idea of her slicing right through her submissive’s body from neck to groin disgorging banknotes and coins. She holds him with her left hand and he leans back in ecstasy, with his right hand holding a credit card.
She Controls thrusts her gloved hand into the money and smiles out at us with a gleam of triumph in her eye.
A literally visceral portrayal of the findom fetish.
The Sardax studio is as busy as ever, though as most commissions are currently private there have been few public updates. There are also some interesting pieces forthcoming – including a personal shrine (!) – but they cannot be revealed just yet.
But I like to get out and about and for various reasons meet up to sketch current mistresses who come in and around London. This might be in connection with an upcoming commission, or for one visiting from abroad and rarely here, or simply I find an interest in drawing them.
Unlike my fully commissioned work I do not make a charge for these – they are a pleasure to make – and once a photo has been taken the sketch is given away freely, but they are made entirely at my suggestion and I cannot accept requests to sketch.
There is a simplistic idea going round in erotica marketing that women respond to words and men to pictures. This sounds true, judging by the sales of erotic novels to women and videoclips to men, but I think the truth is more complex. From some conversations with dominant women who had taken it upon themselves to tell me what I ought to be doing (bless them), I learnt that they aren’t generally interested in femdom photos or videos simply because it had no “eye candy” for them. Instead of focussing on a good-looking male this media tends to linger on the dominant female actress, which is off-putting for them, and any males in the scene are secondary, certainly not chosen for their looks or acting ability. There are notable exceptions, but as most visual content is produced for men any content designed for women tends to get ignored and women seem to stop even looking for anything appealing. So it was initially surprising for me but on reflection quite logical that for them gay porn was their choice of viewing. I understood this but could not see how I could do anything to affect the disparity.
But these ladies could be persuasive and so, at their instigation, I tried to address this with a few pieces for what has come to be called “The Female Gaze” – that might appeal to this untapped female market and give a few new subscriptions to the member-site I was running at the time (2004-14).
Drawing in this way was an interesting process, like driving on the opposite side of the road – familiar landmarks and same direction but a different focus and view, through guessing what the female might prefer rather than just knowing. This series was one such -“Down Below”
Down Below 1
Down Below 2
Down Below 3
Down Below 4
My friends expressed satisfaction with this series – they particularly liked the suffering eyes – but I felt no immediate desire to continue working this way. I knew my core market was men and straying too far from that would alienate them. I put up a few pieces now and then “for the ladies” such as this -“Moonlight”, but let the matter rest as I felt it was for a female artist to develop it further.
So I was pleased recently to get to know about a new venture called Dreams Made Flesh run by a Canadian lifestyle domme . It is run on the patreon system whereby the contributions fund artists and writers who are developing this field. As you can see it’s not just Female Gaze then but Female Ear too, but I believe it’s not just for women anyway. Men can enjoy this focus equally and if they care anything about what women like (I mean-isn’t that the scene ?) then it is something that should be sponsored.
Shortly before Christmas I was fortunate enough to attend a lovely play-party given by Nikki Whiplash, whose portrait I completed recently. My role was however not to play, though I did enjoy myself immensely. During ball-busting events and other intense games with the male guests in the main dungeon, I sat in an adjoining room and sketched four of the stunning mistresses in turn, using a mixture of pencils, pen and red crayon. A messy combination but for working fast it seems to work.
This is the magic of drawing – of art in general – 20 minutes before there was only a blank sheet of paper and a pen. After 20 minutes an image of themselves which they were (visibly) happy to receive and take home*.
The sketch will remain there and can be looked at whenever they want. Unlike an experience which lasts only as long as the activity causing it.
My mission was complete – I enjoyed seeing their smiles and giggles, like some party magician, and I drank up my sherry and indulged in the mince pies provided.
Thank you Nikki for putting on such a lovely party!
*It’s not always successful. Sometimes I just can’t get it right but generally it works out ok
For this commission I had a pretty open brief. The email said simply –
“My idea is a group of smoking Mistresses standing over a naked male as they are about to flick their ash into his mouth.”
The only other unusual stipulation to this was that the victim wished for his head to be trapped in a car tyre – no problem!
So in fact rather than depict a chosen person – as is usual – I could choose anyone to draw as a model or simply make it up from imagination. As I was considering this and finding that a lot of London mistresses had actually given up smoking, the wonderful Romanian Mistress Ezada and her two compatriots Lady Yna and Mistress Lilse all happened to be in London and, as smokers themselves, were happy to pose for the drawing (see my sketches of them at the Femdom Ball) As an added twist I drew them in military outfit to add to the atmosphere of captivity.
See clips of these and other Romanian goddesses at Mistress Ezada’s House of Sinn